She insisted I listen to her to change both my kids’ Chinese character.
Here are some of the reasons why I refuse to change them.
1) I felt I am an adult now and going into my 30s soon. I am no longer a young girl who forever listen to my mom example what to wear to certain occasions and how to talk to my bosses at my work place. Each time after talking to my boss I have call my mom and report to her.
2) My confident built up after I get to know Leo and I can do what I want. I am sorry to say that my mom thinks my husband had made me become a bad girl just because I started to feel that I should have my own thinking.
3) Me and my husband changed our Chinese name twice on the pick IC as well as the passport. Reason, my mom keep telling us she has calculated them wrongly. My mom ever told me if Leo don’t change his name it is very difficult for us to get married.
4) When Zofie was born we respected my mom to give Zofie Chinese name. It is very irritating after more then a year later she came to me and wanted me to change Zofie’s name. Just because she went to one of the website, she typed Zofie’s name and was told that this name is bad.
5) I can tell you I have been spending a lot of efforts to teach Zofie as well as letting her know what is her name which is her own identity and that is special plus a unique one.
6) When a baby turn 5 to 8 months old people will be trying to call her name to see if this baby is smart enough to response or the mom has been teaching her.
7) My mom ever gave one of my cousin’s son who is my nephew a Chinese character which initially the boy’s mummy did not want to follow. The whole family forced her to give the name my mom gave and towards the end my nephew’s mummy gave in. A year later my mom said she calculated wrongly and make them change. I am not too sure how my mom and my aunties did it. They changed my nephew’s name behind my nephew’s mummy’s back. That poor mummy had a hard time teaching her son the new name she told me. I could still remember my nephew has been calling is younger brother his own old name. I could also remember my auntie scolded my nephew for saying out that name. He gave my auntie a blur look. We can see how much influence we would give to a baby who doesn’t know how to talk. The mind registered what we had told them. It is the same as what we have told from age 0 to 3 we just have to input them and one day you will be surprised by their output.
8) All the Chinese teachers in schools which Zofie had attended had already call her ‘稞令’. I don’t think it is fare for me to change her name unless one day Zofie doesn’t like her name and decided to change. Well, I will respect her wish.
This morning my mom had told me straight on my face she will not want to help me look after my kids anymore. She hinted me if I am not going to change my children’s name she is not going to see them.
I think one of my friends said me is right WE (mothers) are so busy that WE have no time for ourselves why must we spend so much time doing silly things such as changing names over and over again.
Those who are not mothers you will never know. Besides feeding, bathing and playing with a child there are a lot of sleepless nights. Can you imagine a baby wakes up and cry every night from 7pm to 7am for at least 6 months. You don’t think the baby is going to sleep in the day time. NOPE! Not so easy. There are babies who refuse to sleep and make you play with them. They will cry and cry till you pick them up. There are children who can’t sleep well at night for 3 years. Can you guess how many sleepless nights! This is not an easy job. Anyone can come over to my place and give it a try by looking after Jana for me while I go out and play. If you can’t pacify Jana please do not tell me ‘just change it’.
Very irritating to see my aunties who are my mom’s sisters one day came knocking on my door instead of seeing baby Jana they seat at my living room and start telling me what name I should give Jana.
I prefer to seek some professionals once and for all rather then ‘change it’ and ‘change it’.
One of my cousins who is coming to her 40s has not got married. She was told that was because of her name was bad and that is why she never found her Mr Right. I was told she has changed her name and she is going to get married this year. Now is already August and I have not hear anything about she has a new boyfriend. Guess what, my younger sister is getting married soon. Why can’t we are taught beinging single can be happy too. So you think after married you will live happily ever after?
1 comment:
Goddess, don't change your baby name if you don't want to! Sorry but if your mother can say that she calculated wrongly now, it can be the same few months or years from now. harsh as it seems, you should just ignore her no matter how hard.
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