NO mood for CNY

I have no idea why am I feeling moody these days. I was wondering if that is because of the pregnancy.

I have no mood to celebrating CNY. In Singapore we used to visit my grandma, however she had passed away a few years back so no visiting anymore. Go to my uncle’s place also feels very boring. After I got married I thought it would be fun to follow Leo back to his home town Bhatu Phat to celebrate CNY. Who knows it got worst, they don’t do visiting during the first day of the CNY and by 2nd day we have to get ready to come back. I don’t wear new clothes like I used to during CNY. Even if I wear black and sit in the living hall nobody will be bothered to scold me.

I am mentally trying to prepare for the worst once the 2nd child comes. Some of my friends were excited about me doing for water birth but I am not. I’m more scared of doing confinement, having strangers in my house and breastfeeding problems like before. Zofie used to be a very difficult baby until she turns 8 months old. I wonder if I would still be able to survive like before. I have to standby cries, colic, jaundice and a lot more I guess.

Let me think again what makes me feel moody. Well… I don’t do spring cleaning this time and there is nothing much to clean. Just have to recycle the clothes, book, toys, CDs and flesh cards. I hope to teach both of them the same thing all at the same time. Sing the same song and read the same books.

Perhaps I felt moody because Leo wants to have more kids. He has 7 siblings plus himself yet he doesn’t come from rich family and I wonder if he sees any financial problems? He said having 2 is too lonely just like me and my sister. I asked around with those who comes from big family and 9 out of 10 where telling me 2 is enough which I agree too. I find it too expensive and draining to have kids in Singapore. But the daddy who is soooooooooooooooooo good that he is willing to wake up in the middle of the night to feed Zofie with milk no matter how tired he was. Zofie would get a good scolding from me for waking up in the middle of the night crying for milk because she didn’t want to eat her food in the day.

Although Leo does not travel but I still do get cranky. My tummy is getting bigger and tiring yet I have to deal with Zofie. I can see it is not an easy job for him to deal with the media. I would say at this point of time we are very lucky that he has a stable job. Unlike one of my friends staying in UK who was telling me yesterday a lot of companies close down without giving any notice. So I am not facing any economy crises and why am I feeling so sad? BTW, my favorite neighbor is going to move out of Singapore for 2 years and this time I will miss one mummy to talk to me.

Also not in the mood of up dating any vedios and photos.

Well… I just don’t have mood to celebrate CNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!